As a woman over 50, for well over a decade, I’ve been experiencing nature’s wonder of aging… yes, HOT FLASHES!
Women who are approaching this “fun” time of life are likely all too familiar with “Hot Flashes”. For those who aren’t familiar with this term, Merriam-Webster’s dictionary defines a hot flash as “a sudden brief flushing and sensation of heat caused by dilation of skin capillaries usually associated with menopausal endocrine imbalance”.
Uhm… “Brief flushing” my ass! I wonder if this definition was written by a man.
My definition of a hot flash? It's an overwhelming surge of unexplainable heat and sweating (sorry, I mean perspiring) that starts unexpectedly and typically occurs at the worst possible time and in the most embarrassing places.
I live in Alberta, Canada, and let me tell you, it can be damn cold in the winter… BUT not when you have a hot flash!
I had to stop wearing sweaters and start dressing in layers… so I could gracefully peel them away throughout the day.
You can imagine my husband’s confusion when I tried to turn the air conditioning on… in my underwear… in the middle of November! He wasn’t very happy since he'd prepped and covered up the AC unit for the winter a couple of months earlier… not to mention it was also covered by a few inches of snow.
So I moved on to plan B... Leaving the windows open in the bedroom at night… in the dead of winter. Apparently, he didn't enjoy waking up to a nice skiff of snow… IN our bedroom.
I tried to explain it was because the ceiling fan didn’t cool me down enough during my – as Merriam’s definition defines them – “brief flushings”. I think Merriam-Webster needs to re-visit that definition.
If you are either starting this beautiful time in your life, are currently going through it or maybe you’re lucky enough to have surpassed these hot streaks, you know what I’m talking about. You can truly understand…
Other than the hot flashes, turning 50 wasn’t that moment of dread that I had heard so many women talk about - feeling old… depressed… and sad.
I actually felt happy, excited, and proud to have gotten to where I was. In many ways, it was empowering. I knew who I was, and what I wanted.
I stopped sweating the small stuff and started focusing on doing what brought joy to my life.
Of course, my children brought incredible joy to my life – but being in the single-mom mode for so many years meant that they'd been my sole focus. Seeing them grow into happy and healthy young men filled me with pride and overwhelming elation…. and then, they moved out.
Now an empty nester, I was talking to my youngest son about finding a new focus. A hobby. He quickly suggested I turn my love of writing into a blog.
I can’t tell you how much the thought of doing that excited me. Subject ideas swirled around in my head.
Thinking about how, for the past few years, I've constantly been asked for advice on how to maintain a positive attitude after going through a LOT of, well, let’s just say…crap, over the years!
How my confidence and self-esteem were destroyed by my abusive husband. How he controlled every aspect of my life, including all the finances, everything I did, and everywhere I went. Fearing for my life, I was finally able to flee with my two boys.
Looking back, I thought about all I experienced in those five following years trying to get a divorce. How my ex tried to completely destroy me mentally, emotionally, and financially. And how I struggled, living in constant fear as he stalked me and had me followed.
In the years since women have asked me how I moved forward and was able to start over again. To trust and find love again.
Fortunately, I had a loving and supportive family, and an understanding employer. Determined to not dwell on the negative, I focused solely on the positive. To be happy, providing a safe, loving home for my boys.
I also embraced my newfound independence. Finally being able to dress how I wanted, get my hair done in a salon, and reunite with all the friends my ex had isolated me from. It was all so empowering!
And don’t even get me started on the healing of laughter. It's an essential part of my day. To always find something to laugh about... which is often myself.
All of these coping strategies have helped me in other areas of my life. Personally AND professionally. That includes my decision to turn my "Hobby" of writing and make a living, doing what I love. Writing and being creative.
Now, I help women entrepreneurs with their content writing and branding, so they too can focus on what THEY love... their business.
I hope that my stories, experiences, thoughts, and ideas on love, life, and career will help others who are facing challenging times in their own lives.
Whether it's the never-ending changes we face in life... or THAT hot, sweaty change women go through in life, I want to offer hope, encouragement, and creative inspiration.
And of course, bring a few laughs and smiles along the way.
